The first bird I saw this year that I could clearly identify was a Mourning Dove. I'm not sure whether that's a good thing or not. At worst, it means there will be much strife and trials; resulting in mourning....while at best, it means that the year will be dull and average (which would be somewhat of an improvement, admittedly).

Yes, I'm superstitious: I gauge how the new year might be by the first bird I see/hear in the year that I can clearly ID. Last year, though, was Canyon Wren, and last year was DECIDEDLY not a Canyon-Wren year; it wasn't associated with much beauty, poetry, or wild places. So perhaps I'm reading into this sort of thing too much.

I finished the fifth book of Harry Potter about five minutes ago. Two left to go, neither of which I've found used in paperback, so I am going to hold off for a little while. Reguardless, I have some thoughts on the works as a whole that I've read so far:

The plot, more or less, is the same in every book. Harry goes to Hogwarts, does stuff, saves the day, and then goes back home. There are some minor variances (apparent from books 4 and 5, though I don't know if this trend is continued...but even so, the general plot is the same.) You can almost predict how they will end. It's...written okay. It's not perfect, but it's not NEARLY as dry as snooze-worthy Robert Jordan...but nowhere near as evocative as Lewis's writing in his sci-fi trilogy, or Rosenthal in Name of the Wind, and definitely sub-par compared to Tolkein (but then, ALMOST EVERYBODY is, so it's not an entirely fair comparison.)

Even though the writing isn't as good as the above, there IS a marked improvement as the series goes onwards. The improvement in writing reminds me a lot of Russel Kirkpatrick's "The Right Hand of God" series (which I do recommend). The first book kind of stutters a bit, but then it picks up and it's much harder to put down. I wonder what his latest series, set in the same world, is like, but I can only imagine his writing has gotten even better.

Overall...I feel Harry Potter does have some definite merit. It IS an engaging story, and Harry, with all of his flaws (which are well pointed out by many other characters, yet somehow he still remains perfect-ish), is probably the closest thing that the last ten years has had to a Frodo Baggins, or his erstwhile uncle Bilbo. I rank the series as I have read so far as a 7.8 out of 10. I don't plan on reading the series again unless I have children; and then I will read it to them.

This does leave us with a bit of a conundrum: What do I read next? I'm not about to shelve out the money to pick up hardcovers used, or even new soft-covers at wal-mart for the next two. I'm comfortable waiting until they arrive at Bookman's. That being said...I do have some stuff floating around to read, but I can't decide. So, in true indecisive fashion, I'll let y'all decide for me:

Poll #1506076 Indecisiveness strikes again!
This poll is closed.
Open to: All, detailed results viewable to: All, participants: 9

Which of the following books should I read next?

Good friends, a good night, a good game, and a good Doctor Who, makes for a much happier Cody. That's...really all I have to say about that.

If only all nights could be this way. Tomorrow, for example, will certainly not be. C'est la vie. Someday, I will actually have a new year's eve which is actually fun.

I had a strange dream last night where various members of famous adventuring groups throughout literary history were put under the sorting hat: the folks in the classic Dragonlance series, the Fellowship (and Denethor, Faramir, Sauron, and Sauroman, for that matter), the Knights of the Round Table, Holmes and Watson, Rincewind and Samuel Vimes, along with the famous Witch triad in Pratchett's writing, and lastly, the Twelve Apostles went under the sorting hat (post-Judas. I think it's obvious he would have been Slytherin anyway). Oh, and the Doctor was there too, but the hat didn't know what to do with a Time Lord.

I woke up throwing up after that dream, though that was related to stress. Mom has returned home...and the supposed psychological examination that was supposed to happen right after she was released from the hospital seems to have been forgone. She needs it. Supposedly the first thing she said to Dad was that she was sorry she failed. As you might imagine, this scares the shit out of me.

Still reading Harry Potter--I am in the midst of book five, but I need a change right now. It's too...serious, surprisingly enough, and right now I need something that can make me laugh. Which is why I'm going to switch to a Pratchett book next, as I need something that has nothing to do with how I feel. I don't think that I'll read them again, mostly because of the memories which it will call up of this time in my life--the next time I crack them open would be if I ever married and have kids, so as to read it to them.

I just want to run away...

The snow slowly falls upon the fallen
leaves of the aspens and oaks,
and upon the branches of cedars,
already hoary with frost;
a silence not even broken by chickadees.

It is a lost world;
a world of peace, lost
to me forever; my innocence shattered
like so much fine porcelain,
swept into a garbage can.

The snow falls heavier
between gusts of wind;
crunching underfoot. I journey onwards
deeper into the primordial forest;
pines and firs whispering.

I dream of elven cities, sheltered
in fine mist; surrounded by the songs
of thundering waterfalls and canyon wrens;
a place where I can obtain a warm cup of cocoa;
or even a delectable mug of chai;
an intoxicating scent blending with
that of ice and snow
softly falling on a winter's night.

Someplace where I can just be myself again,
and laugh amongst the snowflakes...
instead of shouldering the world.

Screw it, guys.

I need to stop obsessing over this person who is, clearly, not as perfect as I thought he was. I've been miserable for the past few days, eaten next to nothing, and why? Because I'm terrified that some very unavailable guy thinks I'm too intense?

No, I'm better than this.

And I'll be darned if I let him ruin my break.



*Taco night*

mood: determined
music: Human- Charlene Kaye

Mom has been stabilized, in the ICU. She is drifting in and out of consciousness, but when she is conscious, she is responsive and mobile (within reason for someone in a hospital bed). Brandon ad Shirley visited her, and she recognized them, which is a good sign.

She might even suffer no long-lasting permanent effects from all this. I wish I could say the same for myself. I think I have lost any remaining urge I would have had to marry anybody because of this whole craziness. But then, I think I've said that before, too.

Please pray for my mother (if you are so inclined), as she just tried to commit suicide with an overdose of Serroquil.


EDIT: She has been moved from the ER to the ICU. Apparently they had her on a ventilator for a while. But for now, she has stabilized.

I swear, my mom makes me really want to beat her over the head sometimes, and this morning was one of them. She went completely ballistic. Repeatedly. First, when we weren't entirely awake and chipper at four AM, sans coffee; she accused my dad and me of not being in the proper holiday spirit and went back to bed, furiously. I spent the next hour waking myself up and watching a Doctor Who Christmas special (the one with the 'splody Sycorax), to which she got pissed at again. I'm sorry, I wasn't exactly aware that I was supposed to grovel on my hands and knees to get to open presents, like a five-year old.

After that, something ELSE set her off (I don't even remember what it was, now), and she ended up storming out into the early morning, not even dressed in the warmth, to "take a walk" She was gone for almost another hour. Apparently she also got pissed that we didn't follow her around. Sorry! I thought I'd get dressed and ready for Liturgy in Flagstaff first, instead of waiting around in pajamas to, again, open presents. Because apparently that's what Christmas is all about,who knew?. When she finally got back, we opened them. Pretty much what I got were clothes and an alarm clock, and cologne. Things that I find it hard to get excited about, or that I don't really need.

Apparently she got pissed because I didn't show the proper level of excitement for a personalized snuggie, flannel shirts, or a money clip. But this only came out after I left, because I left for Liturgy right afterwards; this was told to me by dad on the phone...who also for some reason is siding with her, thus making me the bad guy. *beats head into desk repeatedly*

Quite frankly, I no longer feel welcome here.

Seriously. There are times when the only thing keeping me from hitting her upside the head with a large blunt object is the fact that she's my mother. I honestly find it hard to say "I love you" to her anymore, because of all the shit she pulls on a regular basis. I know it's not always her fault, though I do strongly believe that sometimes she does it just for the attention. I have to walk on fucking tiptoes, lest I speak loudly or breathe incorrectly, setting her off. I'm tired of being here, and I can't really go anywhere for the rest of the time that I'm trapped in this....rather horrid town. Tonight--no, scratch that, the entire rest of the afternoon, I think I'm going to hole up with my bottle of retsina, and finally drink it out of sheer frustration.

And, since it seems most of the women I attract are women with the same traits, the constant desire to commit murder which seethes under the surface would be entirely counterproductive to a Christian mode of life. Ergo, the second part of today's blog title. Seriously--I've only dated two people who didn't remind me in any way, shape, or form of my mother. Funnily enough, those were the two people I consider that I had the best relationships with. I wonder if there's a correlation there? Naaah.

On the bright side, Liturgy and the potluck afterward was quite nice. I got to see Joel and Jennifer, whom I hadn't seen for some time. The Quest to find the Northern Shrike supposedly hanging out at Mormon Lake was a failure, but I did meet the cutest kid ice skating at Lake Mary. He was totally like me at 7 years old--obsessed with dinosaurs. We had a 30 minute conversation about extinct mega-fauna, it was kick-ass.

<3 Smart little kids who read. (On a similar note, Josh--Fr. Nicholas's eldest--is planning on starting to read The Hobbit soon, a project that meets with my express approval. If I had the funds, I'd buy him a very nice, shiny copy myself in fact.)

Aaaaaaaand right now Mom's banging shit in the kitchen. I wonder what the problem is NOW? Ugh.

EDIT: Dad just came into the room and apologized for seeming to stick up to Mom's side of the whole thing. He felt the same way as I did, but had to ostensibly take sides. Still....between the two of us, there's nothing we can do.

my cousins and aunt got me my secret gift cards and body splash/lotion
my parents got me some really cute tops from old navy, boots, essential toiletries and a new ipod nano!

nano needs a name....suggestions?

First: a VENOMOUS dinosaur? Win: http://www.physorg.com/news180635335.html

It would be the first discovery, that I am aware of, of a venomous dinosaur. There's been some suggestions of "poisonous" therapods in the past, mostly due to similarities between the giant theropod's jaw structures and placement of teeth, versus that of the Komodo Dragon--the idea being that the mouths were not very clean and were great breeding spots for bacteria which would cause illness and death in the end were prey to get away.

Somehow, though, it doesn't surprise me that this potential venomous dinosaur was a raptor. I mean, as if we didn't already have enough to worry about from that particular family, WHICH, I remind you, is still in existence to this day as birds descended from that line.

Yes, that means Nikos is a modified Velociraptor. Be worried?

Second: I went up to Flagstaff yesterday for my long-awaited, and long-dreaded court date for the criminal speeding charge. Fr. Nicholas came and met with me before hand to give me some moral support and advice, and things went surprisingly well. Well, for me, anyway, considering I was of course expecting the worst. I only ended up having to pay a fine of $247. Still a lot, but not nearly as much as I was expecting...not to mention, no misdemeanor charges due to criminal driving. I've learned my lesson from all of this, and plan on avoiding such hassle for the rest of my days. NO MORE SPEEDING.

I haven't yet decided where I will go for liturgy tomorrow for Christmas. I'm thinking Prescott, since I haven't been there in a while. But, I want to wish all of you a Merry Christmas, even those of you who don't celebrate it. And on that note, I leave you with this following video; the vocals are an Orthodox Christmas Hymn...in Arabic!



Christ is Born! Glorify Him!